Endo Year Reflection: #3 Grief, Hormones, And Hope

Year-End Reflections Begin

SPEAKER_01
0:00

With
the
Indo
Year
coming
up,
it's
a
perfect
time
to
reflect
on
all
the
lessons,
growth,
and
amazing
guests
we've
had
on
Endobattery.
But
instead
of
one
big
recap,
I'm
breaking
it
into
quick,
bite-sized
reflections
multiple
times
a
week.
Let's
revisit
what
inspired
us,
learn
what
we
missed,
and
recharge
together
in
our
Endo
Year
Reflection
series.
Join
me
each
episode
as
we
look
back.

Mission And Community Context

SPEAKER_01
0:27

Welcome
to
Indobattery,
where
I
share
my
journey
with
endometriosis
and
chronic
illness
while
learning
and
growing
along
the
way.
This
podcast
is
not
a
substitute
for
medical
advice,
but
a
supportive
space
to
provide
community
and
valuable
information
so
you
never
have
to
face
this
journey
alone.
We
embrace
a
range
of
perspectives
that
may
not
always
align
with
our
own,
believing
that
open
dialogue
helps
us
grow
and
gain
new
tools.
Join
me
as
I
share
stories
of
strength,
resilience,
and
hope.
From
personal
experiences
to
expert
insights.
Some
episodes
teach
you
something
new,
and
some
episodes
arrive
exactly
when
you
need
them,
whether
you
realize
it
at
the
time
or

Grief, Generations, And Perfectionism

SPEAKER_01
1:15

not.
Episode
111
was
one
of
those
moments
for
me.
I
had
the
honor
of
sitting
down
with
Dr.
Natasha
Traheel,
a
fellow
Wyoming
native
and
doctor
of
psychology.
And
this
conversation
hit
me
right
where
it
counts.
I
actually
first
encountered
her
work
last
Christmas.
I
remember
driving
out
to
look
for
Christmas
trees
and
Laramie,
listening
to
her
book
in
the
car,
and
silently
wiping
away
my
tears
as
I
looked
out
the
window.
And
here's
the
irony.
She
talks
about
generational
experiences
and
how
they
shape
the
way
we
grieve.
And
there
I
was,
in
deep
grief
myself.
Because
we
do
grieve
chronic
illness.
And
that
grief
isn't
linear.
It
doesn't
follow
a
timeline,
and
it
certainly
doesn't
care
what
month
it
is,
though
December
tends
to
be
especially
hard
for
me.
Dr.
Trujillo
spoke
about
how
to
honor
your
grief
journey,
how
perfectionism
becomes
entangled
with
loss
and
self-worth,
and
how
family
history
shapes
the
way
we
carry
chronic
stress
and
illness.
And
as
I
listened,
I
saw
myself
in
so
many
of
those
words.
Something
you
said
in
your
book,
and
I'm
probably
paraphrasing
this,
is
that
you
talked
about
hating
your
body
for
what
it
couldn't
do,
often
lied
about
the
pain
you
were
in
and
finding
ways
to
punish
your
body
without
showing
others
that
you
were
human.

SPEAKER_03
2:33

Yes.
One,
you
had
mentioned
perfectionism
earlier.
And
I
mean,
there's
an
entire
chapter
on
the
book
about
perfectionism
because
I
feel
like
there's
so
much
grief
and
loss
inherent
in
perfectionism.
And
that's
not
often
a
connection
that
people
make.
But
I
think
that
adds
to
this
too,
because
as
a
as
people
who
struggle
with
perfectionism,
it's
like,
okay,
but
I'm
the
exception.
So
yeah,
I
can
say
all
these
things
and
uh
everyone
else
should
do
this,
but
I
have
to
figure
out
a
different
way,
or
I
have
to,
you
know,
be
successful
without
doing
A,
B,
C,
and
D.
That
makes
me
more
perfect,
or
I
don't
need,
you
know,
I
don't
need
X,
Y,
and
Z.
So
I
think
that
can
make
it
very,
very
complicated.
And
then
again,
that
sense
of
what
are
we
in
control
over
and
what
are
we
not
in

Trauma Lenses And Intrusive Thoughts

SPEAKER_03
3:15

control
over?
That
can
make
the
relationship
that
we
have
with
ourselves
very,
very
complex
and
very
complicated.
And
of
course,
grief
is
interwoven
with
all
of
us.
Give
yourself
permission
to
explore
and
to
kind
of
consider
it.
Uh,
from
a
trauma
lens,
I
often
think
about
avoidance.
How
much
does
an
experience
that
you
have
had
in
your
life
make
you
hesitate
or
make
you
push
things
aside
or
make
you
fearful
of
things
in
a
way
where,
you
know,
you'll
take
a
take
a
route
that's
a
little
longer.
Yeah.
You'll
do
something
to
truly
not
have
to
confront
something.
And
I
think
that
awareness
is
oftentimes
something
where
it's
like,
yeah,
there's
there's
something
here.
I
also
think
another
huge
sign
is
just
intrusive
thoughts.
You
know,
how
often
do
you,
as
much
as
you
want
to
push
it
aside,
does
it
always
seem
to
find
its
way
back?
So
I'll
see
this
a
lot
with
people
who
will
tell
me,
I
just
think
about
a
flare-up
happening
all
the
time,
and
I
can't
stop
thinking
about,
you
know,
what
this
doctor
said
to
me
or
what
this
doctor
didn't
say
to
me,
or,
you
know,
this
experience
in
the
lab
or
when
I
was
getting
imaging
or
whatever
it
may
be.
So
I
think
that
in
those
intrusive
thoughts
that
come
up
when
you're
not
expecting
it,
when
you
when
they
aren't
wanted,
and
if
you
have
a
really
hard
time
working
through
it,
that
is
also
a
huge
indication.

Full-Circle Wyoming Connection

SPEAKER_01
4:32

What
made
this
episode
even
more
surreal
is
that
she's
from
Laramie,
Wyoming.
And
as
I
was
listening
to
her
book,
I
was
literally
driving
through
Laramie.
She
mentioned
landmarks
I
could
see
out
my
window.
I
felt
like
one
of
those
full
circle
moments
where
life
gently
taps
you
on
the
shoulders
and
says,
pay
attention.
We
connected
before
and
after
the
episode
about
growing
up
in
small
towns
and
shared
experiences
that
came
with
that
and
how
those
roots
shaped
us
far
beyond
grief
or
chronic
illness.
There
was
something
deeply
healing
about
that
connection.
This
episode
met
me
in
a
season
where
I
was
struggling
and
it
helped
me
realize
I
had
some
work
to
do,
but
I
didn't
have
to
do
it
alone.
If
you
haven't
read
her
book
and
she
was
never
the
same,
I
truly
believe
it
can
change
the
way
you
understand
grief
and
the
way
you
see
yourself
inside
of
it,
especially
when
chronic
illness
is
part
of
that
story.

Hormones, Hypermobility, And Menopause

SPEAKER_01
5:31

Episode
112
took
me
into
a
very
different
but
equally
important
conversation.
As
I
sat
down
with
Vanessa
Whelan,
this
episode
came
at
a
time
when
I
was
really
beginning
to
explore
the
role
of
hypermobility
and
hormones.
Vanessa
has
a
unique
understanding
of
the
intersection
between
hormones,
hypermobility,
and
endometriosis.
And
honestly,
I
needed
this
conversation
more
than
I
realized.
We
were
both
still
learning,
and
I
think
that
honesty
mattered.
As
someone
who's
gone
through
surgical
menopause,
hearing
her
clearly
lay
out
how
hormones
interact
with
endometriosis
and
how
surgical
menopause
changes
the
landscape
was
incredibly
grounding
for
me.

SPEAKER_02
6:13

So
normally
menopause
is
a
clinical
diagnosis,
and
we
use
periods
to
kind
of
help
figure
out
where
you
are
in
the
transition.
So
oftentimes
early
perimenopause,
you're
still
having
periods,
but
they
get
longer
and
closer
together
and
heavier.
And
then
later
perimenopause
is
when
they
start
to
get
more
spread
out.
And
then
the
definition
of
menopause
is
one
year
without
a
period
at
all.
So
obviously,
all
that
is
all
out
the
window
if
you
don't
have
a
uterus.
But
all
the
other
symptoms
ought
to
be
pretty
similar.
So
a
lot
of
people
in
that
early
perimenopause
phase,
the
reason
you're
having
heavier
and
longer
periods
is
that
you
have
less
progesterone
on
board.
And
progesterone
also
can
make
you
sleepy
and
calmer.
You
know,
our
progesterone
is
naturally
highest
when
we're
in
that
week
before
a
period.
You
know,
everyone
likes
talking
about
the
luteal
phase
now,

Perimenopause Signs And HRT Basics

SPEAKER_02
7:03

you
just
chill
out
and
be
left
alone.
So
when
you're
low
on
that,
you
can
get
anxious
and
have
trouble
sleeping.
So
if
you
start
to
notice
that,
that
can
be
a
sign
of
early
perimenopause.
And
then
in
that
middle
perimenopause
phase
where
your
periods
are
getting
spaced
out,
that
means
that
you're
starting
to
lose
the
estrogen.
And
so
low
estrogen
symptoms
are
the
stereotypical
symptoms
of
menopause,
hot
flashes
and
night
sweats
and
vaginal
dryness.
And
some
common
things
that
are
less
well
known
are
heart
palpitations,
itchy
skin,
itchy
inside
your
ears,
joint
pain.
Um,
a
lot
of
people
notice
brain,
brain
fog,
and
forgetfulness
during
this
time.
And
those
symptoms
tend
to
basically
ramp
up
to
their
most
extreme.

SPEAKER_01
7:47

Now,
I
would
be
lying
if
I
said
this
episode
didn't
come
with
its
challenges.
There
were
some
tech
issues,
internet
issues,
those
moments
where
you
take
a
deep
breath
and
remind
yourself
to,
you
know,
stay
calm.
And
through
it
all,
Vanessa
was
professional,
patient,
and
incredibly
committed

Vaginal Estrogen And Quality Of Life

SPEAKER_01
8:07

to
making
sure
this
information
got
out.
She
spoke
passionately
about
HRT,
perimenopause,
menopause,
and
how
hormonal
shifts
don't
just
affect
us
individually,
but
ripple
through
our
families,
our
relationships,
and
our
daily
lives.
And
then
came
episode
124
with
Dr.
Christine
Vegaro,
another
powerhouse
when
it
comes
to
hormones
and
quality
of
life.
Dr.
Vigaro
brought
such
clarity
to
the
conversation
around
hormones,
the
pain
generators,
and
especially
vaginal
estrogen.
And
let's
be
honest,
it's
not
always
fun
to
talk
about
something
you
need,
but
don't
necessarily
love
doing.
She
gave
practical,
realistic
tips
for
using
vaginal
estrogen,
different
ways
to
approach
it,
and
reassurance
that
yes,
it
can
be
messy,
but
it's
also
incredibly
valuable.

SPEAKER_00
8:57

So
I
think
sometimes
or,
you
know,
even
a
good
doctor
that
talks
about
full
body
replacement
might
forget
about
local
vaginal
hormones,
which
are
also
really
important.
So
full
body
hormones,
even
though
they're
called
full
body
or
systemic
hormones,
they're
actually
not
enough
to
support
the
genitourinary
systems.
Because
again,
full
body
hormones
are
just
getting

Research Gaps And Testosterone Truths

SPEAKER_00
9:20

a
little
bit
of
gas
in
the
tank.
We're
not
giving
back
the
full
amount
that
most
women
have.
And
so
the
genitals
really
suffer
in
that
regard
and
generally
need
local
support.
So
that's
generally
in
the
form
of
either
vaginal
estrogen,
either
creams,
tablets,
suppositories,
there's
vaginal
rings,
or
through
other
suppositories
like
DHEA,
which
converts
to
estrogen
testosterone
in
the
cell
level.
So
there's
different
ways
that
we
can
replace
the
hormones
in
the
vagina,
which
protects
against,
you
know,
pain
with
sex,
so
dryness-related
pain
protects
against
overactive
bladder
like
urgent
urinary
urgency,
potentially
leakage,
it
protects
against
recurrent
UTIs,
and
again,
changes
in
sexual
function.
So
again,
blood
flow
to
the
vulva,
vagina,
clitoris
is
really
important
to
maintain
a
healthy
sexual
function.
Again,
all
these
places
are
really
sensitive
to
a
decline
in
hormones.
Even
if
it's
still
a
half
a,
you
know,
quarter
gas
in
the
tank,
it's
not
enough
for
the
genitals.
So
it's
really
important.

SPEAKER_01
10:20

What
stood
out
to
me
most
was
her
honesty
about
the
lack
of
research
in
women's
health
and
how
that
gap
has
led
so
many
of
us
down
confusing,
frustrating
paths.

SPEAKER_00
10:30

So
testosterone,
of
course,
the
most
data
we
have
is
in
males.
Again,
testosterone

You’re Not Broken For Needing Support

SPEAKER_00
10:35

is
not
a
male-only
hormone.
It's
a
human
hormone.
Women
have
more
testosterone
at
all
times
in
their
life
than
estrogen.
The
only
time
where
this
may
not
be
true
is
late
in
pregnancy
when
estrogen
levels
are
really,
really
high.
But
other
than
that,
we
have
more
testosterone
than
estrogen,
which
I
think
is
a
revelation
to
some
patients.
It's
a
revelation
to
some
doctors
because,
again,
we
just
don't
have
good
education
on
hormones
in
our
medical
education.

SPEAKER_01
11:01

She
spoke
thoughtfully
about
topical
estrogen,
testosterone,
and
why
vaginal
estrogen
plays
such
a
critical
role
in
quality
of
life.
What
these
episodes
collectively
reminded
me
is
this:
hormones
matter,
grief
matters,
and
quality
of
life
matters.
We
are
not
broken
for
needing
support.
We
are
not
weak
for
asking
questions,
and
we
are
certainly
not
alone
in
trying
to
understand
bodies
that
don't
always
follow
the
rules.
I
walked
away
from
these
conversations,
knowing
I
still
had
a
lot
to
learn,
but
also
knowing
that
there's
a
village
behind
me,
experts,
advocates,
and
fellow
humans
willing
to
sit
at
the
table,
share
knowledge,
and
help
us
navigate
the
complicated,
messy,
very
human
experiences
of
living
with
chronic
illness.
And
sometimes
that's
exactly
what
we
need.
Not
all
the
answers,
but
just
the
reminder
that
we
don't
have
to
figure
it
out
alone.

Holiday Tip: Leave Early

SPEAKER_01
11:57

And
for
your
holiday
gift
today,
I
want
to
give
you
this
tip
for
surviving
this
holiday
season.
You
are
allowed
to
leave
early.
Irish
goodbye
equals
medical
accommodation.
Just
so
you
know,
you
don't
have
to
stick
around
just
because
you
think
you
should.
If
you're
not
feeling
good,
it's
okay
to
say
thank
you
so
much
for
having
me.
It
is
time
for
me
to
go
and
go
rest.
As
we
wrap
up
this
reflection,
I'm
always
struck
by
just
how
much
learning
lives
inside
these
conversations.
Looking

Gentle Challenge And Closing

SPEAKER_01
12:28

back,
it's
not
just
about
the
information.
It's
what
continued
to
inspire
me,
challenge
me,
and
sometimes
gently
nudge
me
to
see
things
a
little
differently.
My
hope
is
that
something
you
heard
today
sparked
a
moment
of
recognition,
curiosity,
or
even
a
quiet,
uh,
whatever
that
makes
sense
now.
So
here's
what
I'm
gonna
challenge
you
with.
Take
one
idea
from
this
episode,
just
one,
and
let
it
sit
with
you.
You
don't
have
to
fix
anything,
change
anything,
or
suddenly
become
a
brand
new
person
by
Monday.
Growth
counts
even
when
it
happens
in
sweatpants.
Be
gentle
with
yourself.
Honor
how
far
you've
come
this
year,
and
remember,
you're
allowed
to
learn,
unlearn,
rest,
and
repeat.
Thank
you
for
reflecting
with
me.
Continue
being
curious
until
next
time.
Continue
advocating
for
you
and
for
others.