Send us a text with a question or thought on this episode ( We cannot replay from this link)
Have you ever felt dismissed, gaslighted or faced severe undiagnosed symptoms of a chronic condition like endometriosis and adenomyosis? Our guest, Amy Corfeli, host of ‘In 16 Years of Endo’ and author of ‘Finding Peace with a Devastating Disease’, takes us on her personal journey of resilience, acceptance and self-compassion. Amy’s story underscores the emotional toll of these diseases and the importance of integrating them into one’s life, finding a new normal that focuses on self-care, and battling feelings of inadequacy with self-compassion.
We venture into exploring self-compassion and self-acceptance, concepts often dismissed as trivial but in reality, they are crucial for your emotional well-being. Through sharing our personal experiences, we give you tools for self-awareness and kindness to oneself. We talk about the origins of the self-critic, how societal expectations and discrimination feed it. We dive deep into the topic of self-acceptance, learning to embrace our imperfections, and growing from them. We also touch on the role of shame and the importance of separating oneself from negative self-talk. This episode is a journey towards self-love.
Living with a chronic illness can feel isolating, and we delve into the emotional toll of endometriosis and the challenges faced by those who suffer from it. We stress the importance of finding a supportive community. Amy shares insights from her book and her ongoing journey of finding peace and acceptance with endometriosis. As we close, Amy shares her thoughts on acknowledging and sitting with our emotions without letting them consume us. We aim to equip you with a dose of validation, understanding, and shared resilience. You are not alone on this journey. Tune in for a conversation filled with acceptance, self-love and the power of a supportive community in the face of chronic illness.
Find ‘In 16 Years of Endo’ podcast HERE
Read ‘Finding Peace with a Devastating Disease’ HERE
Website endobattery.com
Navigating Endometriosis and Adenomyosis Journey
Speaker 1
0:03
Welcome
to
Indobattery
,
where
I
share
about
my
endometriosis
and
adenomyosis
story
and
continue
learning
along
the
way
.
This
podcast
is
not
a
substitute
for
professional
medical
advice
or
diagnosis
,
but
a
place
to
equip
you
with
information
and
a
sense
of
community
,
ensuring
you
never
have
to
face
this
journey
alone
.
Join
me
as
I
navigate
the
ups
and
downs
and
share
stories
of
strength
,
resilience
and
hope
.
While
navigating
the
world
of
endometriosis
and
adenomyosis
,
from
personal
experience
to
expert
insights
,
I'm
your
host
,
elana
,
and
this
is
Indobattery
charging
our
lives
when
endometriosis
drains
us
.
Welcome
back
to
Indobattery
Today
.
Speaker 1
0:43
My
guest
is
not
only
a
phenomenal
human
but
a
phenomenal
advocate
.
She
is
the
host
of
In
16
Years
of
Indo
and
is
the
author
of
Finding
Peace
with
a
Devastating
Disease
.
Welcome
,
amy
Corvalli
.
Welcome
.
Thank
you
so
much
for
coming
on
today
and
being
able
to
share
some
of
your
journey
.
Your
passion
is
really
grounded
in
your
journey
.
Can
you
give
us
just
a
taste
of
where
you've
been
on
your
journey
with
endometriosis
,
and
then
we
can
even
talk
about
the
advocacy
as
well
?
But
really
your
journey
is
what
kick
started
you
into
the
advocacy
and
into
your
podcast
and
into
your
book
.
So
if
you
can
give
us
just
a
little
bit
of
your
story
,
that
would
be
great
.
Speaker 2
1:27
Yeah
,
thanks
,
Elana
.
Well
,
first
of
all
,
thank
you
so
much
for
having
me
here
today
.
Really
pleased
to
be
here
.
Like
you
said
,
my
name
is
Amy
Corvalli
.
My
pronouns
are
she
,
her
.
I
think
,
like
most
of
us
,
my
story
is
just
pretty
much
full
of
gaslighting
,
dismissal
and
normalization
of
symptoms
.
Started
having
symptoms
when
I
was
in
high
school
.
We
went
to
a
bunch
of
doctors
for
like
the
first
year
,
did
colonoscopies
,
endoscopy
,
stool
tests
,
neurological
tests
,
having
a
lot
of
brain
fog
and
fatigue
and
stuff
like
that
,
but
of
course
no
one
found
everything
.
Everything
was
normal
,
just
like
so
normal
.
Speaker 2
2:09
It
all
happened
yeah
so
,
as
everything
was
so
fabulously
normal
,
the
support
began
to
fall
away
,
the
support
of
my
family
,
the
support
of
my
friends
,
the
support
of
the
people
around
me
,
just
like
pretty
much
everyone
started
actively
gaslighting
and
dismissing
what
I
was
feeling
,
which
I
think
a
lot
of
people
can
relate
to
,
right
,
and
that's
really
hard
.
So
then
I
just
went
through
the
next
like
16
years
with
no
diagnosis
and
living
with
really
severe
symptoms
,
symptoms
that
disrupted
my
college
experience
,
my
work
experience
.
I
couldn't
work
for
a
while
,
I
got
fired
from
some
jobs
.
It's
just
living
with
this
disease
is
incredibly
hard
.
It
devastates
every
single
aspect
of
your
life
.
And
yeah
,
I
got
diagnosed
at
33
years
old
and
really
by
that
point
I'd
pretty
much
given
up
.
Speaker 2
3:02
I
just
thought
that
I
was
sensitive
I
just
quote
unquote
sensitive
and
quote
unquote
weak
and
that
I
just
wasn't
adequate
and
that
my
body
was
broken
and
that
was
the
reason
why
I
was
sick
and
it
was
probably
psychosomatic
.
And
the
only
reason
I
did
get
diagnosed
is
because
,
I
guess
,
when
I
was
around
like
30
,
my
symptoms
,
which
were
severe
every
single
day
,
but
they
got
even
more
severe
I
started
my
worst
,
most
excruciating
,
unbearable
pain
,
like
probably
for
so
many
listeners
.
So
it
was
with
my
period
and
,
of
course
,
every
month
it's
like
you're
when
I
was
16
years
old
that
break
your
back
,
scream
,
ride
on
the
floor
,
pain
maybe
only
happened
for
like
two
,
three
hours
by
the
time
I
was
30
,
it
was
going
on
for
like
a
week
,
right
,
and
you're
just
like
literally
debilitated
,
disabled
by
pain
,
for
more
than
a
week
in
bed
,
ruining
your
life
.
And
that
pain
started
happening
away
from
my
menstrual
cycle
.
So
that
kind
of
started
indicating
to
me
like
maybe
something
else
is
going
on
here
,
because
I
started
having
that
same
,
what
I
considered
menstrual
pain
,
but
I
know
now
it
was
endopain
.
But
that
like
unbearable
you
know
,
crawl
out
of
your
skin
,
endopain
,
I
don't
know
when
I
drank
a
glass
of
cold
water
or
when
I
would
bend
over
and
tie
my
shoe
or
go
over
a
speed
bump
.
So
I
started
getting
these
signals
.
You
know
that
,
okay
,
maybe
there
is
something
seriously
wrong
with
me
,
because
I
had
lost
touch
with
the
idea
that
something
was
seriously
wrong
with
me
.
There
was
something
seriously
wrong
with
me
.
Speaker 2
4:33
By
the
time
I
was
diagnosed
I
had
a
partial
bowel
blockage
.
In
fact
,
every
time
I
ate
I
was
throwing
up
because
,
you
know
,
but
again
that's
gets
blamed
on
.
Plus
,
you
know
,
I
always
have
had
a
lot
of
chronic
diarrhea
with
my
symptoms
.
So
then
that
gets
blamed
on
like
eating
disorders
,
things
like
that
,
so
which
I
didn't
have
.
But
you
know
,
every
time
you
go
for
help
people
,
people
find
a
reason
why
it's
not
something
physical
and
it's
like
something
emotionally
wrong
with
you
.
Speaker 2
5:00
So
I
think
a
big
part
of
my
journey
has
been
relearning
how
to
trust
myself
and
relearning
how
to
have
that
self-compassion
with
myself
.
Speaker 2
5:09
You
mentioned
my
book
,
finding
Peace
for
the
Devastating
Disease
,
and
these
are
reflections
that
I
started
writing
even
before
I
was
diagnosed
because
you
know
,
I
think
maybe
it
was
like
28
or
something
,
but
I
could
no
longer
take
NSAIDs
right
Like
I've
been
taken
to
proxen
,
like
it
was
,
you
know
,
tic-tacs
for
you
know
,
over
a
decade
and
I
ended
up
getting
really
bad
gastritis
.
This
was
diagnosed
via
endostopy
and
I
had
to
stop
taking
them
because
my
esophagus
was
like
being
destroyed
and
I
realized
like
I
don't
know
how
I'm
going
to
live
with
that
pain
,
like
if
I
can't
have
NSAIDs
.
And
I
was
trying
to
work
with
my
doctor
and
we
were
trying
things
like
Vicodin
,
tramadol
,
you
know
,
tylenol
,
but
like
none
of
that
did
anything
for
the
pain
and
it
came
to
a
point
where
it
was
just
like
I
need
to
figure
out
how
to
be
with
my
pain
.
I
need
to
figure
out
how
to
be
with
my
body
,
with
myself
,
with
my
life
,
or
I
don't
think
I'm
going
to
make
it
further
Like
I
think
,
I'm
going
to
end
up
unaliving
myself
,
right
?
Speaker 2
6:13
So
I
think
that
like
set
me
down
a
path
of
doing
a
lot
of
like
emotional
and
spiritual
healing
to
try
to
cope
and
find
the
tools
to
cope
and
also
to
find
acceptance
and
ultimately
try
and
find
peace
with
all
of
the
circumstances
that
I
was
facing
in
my
life
that
were
extremely
devastating
.
Embracing Endometriosis
Speaker 1
6:36
Right
and
I
do
feel
like
,
for
all
the
years
,
that
it
takes
a
lot
of
us
to
get
a
diagnosis
of
endometriosis
,
and
those
are
years
of
layering
on
the
trauma
,
layering
on
failed
expectations
,
layering
on
the
feeling
of
being
a
failure
,
of
being
inadequate
,
of
being
why
is
this
my
lot
in
life
and
you've
had
ruined
relationships
,
you've
had
ruined
jobs
and
I
think
that
for
me
,
I
really
came
to
terms
with
the
fact
that
my
body
is
unique
.
But
it
didn't
happen
overnight
and
,
if
I
would
dare
say
,
I
am
still
going
through
that
journey
now
of
figuring
out
my
body
is
unique
.
My
body
is
not
made
the
same
as
anyone
else's
.
I
mean
,
even
as
an
endometriosis
patient
,
my
body
is
still
different
than
every
other
endometriosis
patient
and
we
can't
quantify
everyone's
story
the
same
.
It's
very
,
very
different
.
Speaker 1
7:38
And
what
has
led
us
to
the
path
of
this
?
But
I
think
something
that
I've
really
admired
about
you
and
what
you're
doing
,
not
only
in
your
podcast
but
in
your
book
,
is
when
you're
talking
about
coming
to
terms
with
this
diagnosis
and
the
things
that
you've
had
to
deal
with
in
this
diagnosis
.
Can
you
kind
of
explain
that
even
more
,
because
I
think
you
have
such
a
beautiful
way
of
allowing
others
to
see
that
it
is
okay
to
find
that
piece
,
it
is
okay
to
step
in
a
place
of
.
This
is
who
we
are
and
we're
going
to
live
life
continuing
to
heal
.
Speaker 2
8:16
Yeah
,
I
think
that
you
know
,
I
think
it
is
a
lifelong
journey
really
to
find
acceptance
,
to
find
peace
,
to
find
these
coping
mechanisms
,
like
especially
with
chronic
disease
it's
,
you
know
,
I
think
all
of
these
are
skills
.
I
think
it's
a
skill
to
have
peace
,
to
have
acceptance
,
to
have
self-compassion
,
to
,
you
know
,
not
ruminate
so
much
,
not
catastrophize
so
much
,
to
be
with
your
,
to
learn
to
be
with
your
pain
.
I
think
all
of
these
are
skills
that
we
can
learn
and
that
we
can
get
better
at
.
And
something
that
I
love
is
a
quote
by
Peter
Levine
that
says
without
the
tools
,
trauma
rules
.
And
I
think
,
yeah
,
I
think
that
is
just
brilliant
because
,
you
know
,
for
the
first
28
years
of
my
life
,
I
did
not
have
any
tools
,
and
I
really
mean
like
no
tools
.
I
came
from
a
difficult
childhood
home
with
pretty
much
no
emotional
support
,
so
like
very
,
you
know
,
stunted
emotional
support
there
by
the
time
I
was
30
,
I
had
two
divorces
.
Okay
,
so
my
yeah
,
it's
,
I
didn't
have
the
tools
.
People
,
let
me
tell
you
,
and
the
trauma
ruled
.
Speaker 1
9:30
Yeah
,
yeah
.
Speaker 2
9:33
And
so
then
,
as
I
started
learning
these
tools
which
,
you
know
,
at
this
point
,
I've
been
learning
the
tools
for
about
10
years
Everything
started
to
change
for
me
,
you
know
,
and
in
many
ways
my
life
outside
didn't
change
,
my
circumstances
didn't
change
,
my
pain
didn't
change
.
My
pain
was
still
,
just
,
as
you
know
,
bad
,
like
passing
out
on
the
toilet
,
screaming
writhing
,
contemplating
if
I
should
go
to
the
ER
.
But
I
began
to
change
,
you
know
,
and
by
me
changing
in
a
way
,
then
my
life
changed
right
.
So
my
life
was
the
same
and
it
was
the
same
devastation
,
but
the
way
I
was
handling
it
was
different
,
the
way
I
thought
about
it
was
different
,
the
way
I
,
the
way
I
was
,
dare
I
say
,
embracing
it
was
different
.
Speaker 2
10:20
And
I
spent
so
much
of
my
life
fighting
against
this
disease
,
you
know
,
fighting
against
.
I
don't
want
to
be
sick
,
I
want
things
to
go
back
to
the
way
they
were
,
I
want
to
go
back
to
normal
or
,
you
know
,
before
having
symptoms
,
but
it's
like
news
flashing
me
at
.
You
know
,
you're
28
,
you've
been
sick
for
12
years
at
this
point
,
like
you've
been
sick
for
over
half
,
almost
half
your
life
,
and
at
this
point
,
more
than
half
of
my
life
have
been
sick
.
So
at
some
point
it
became
about
.
How
can
I
look
around
me
and
see
this
life
,
that
this
?
You
know
that
this
wrecking
ball
of
endometriosis
has
come
in
and
,
like
my
life
,
has
been
devastated
and
crushed
in
many
ways
,
I
feel
,
you
know
,
ruined
in
some
ways
not
all
ruined
,
but
ruined
relationships
,
ruined
career
opportunities
.
You
know
,
how
can
I
look
at
these
ruins
around
me
and
this
catastrophe
and
how
can
I
build
something
with
that
?
How
can
I
,
instead
of
pushing
this
away
and
saying
I
don't
want
this
,
I
don't
want
this
,
with
every
bone
in
my
body
I
don't
want
this
,
and
say
I
have
this
,
this
is
absolutely
the
only
thing
I
have
,
you
know
this
,
this
breath
that's
keeping
me
alive
,
and
this
like
ruined
landscape
before
me
because
of
endometriosis
.
So
how
can
I
integrate
this
into
my
life
?
You
know
,
how
can
I
start
building
a
life
with
endometriosis
?
How
can
I
start
processing
my
feelings
?
Speaker 2
11:50
Because
I'm
angry
,
I
am
furious
and
I
.
That
is
completely
normal
and
natural
.
Of
course
I'm
angry
,
of
course
I'm
furious
,
but
you
know
what
?
That
anger
is
destroying
me
,
maybe
even
more
than
the
endometriosis
itself
.
Like
that
anger
is
festering
inside
of
me
and
I'm
bitter
and
I'm
mean
and
I'm
cruel
and
I
trauma
dump
all
the
time
and
I
whine
and
I
never
smile
and
,
like
this
disease
is
,
has
and
is
destroying
my
life
,
but
also
,
like
the
way
that
I'm
facing
it
is
also
destroying
my
life
and
I
think
to
look
at
your
life
and
look
at
yourself
,
you
also
have
to
learn
to
cultivate
so
much
self-compassion
,
because
this
isn't
a
case
of
saying
like
,
okay
,
now
I'm
gonna
be
mad
at
myself
because
of
the
way
I've
handled
it
.
Speaker 2
12:39
It's
been
really
poor
for
12
years
.
No
,
no
,
the
way
I
handled
it
was
the
best
that
I
could
.
There's
no
manual
for
dealing
with
getting
sick
when
in
your
last
year
of
high
school
and
then
,
like
you
know
,
crapping
on
the
sidewalks
in
front
of
people
because
your
diarrhea
was
so
bad
and
bleeding
through
your
office
chair
on
the
first
day
of
work
and
falling
down
in
the
subway
and
everyone
gawking
at
you
because
you
know
,
and
like
calling
911
and
the
ambulance
.
There's
just
,
there's
no
manual
to
live
with
these
moments
that
we
are
living
with
,
right
.
So
,
cultivating
that
self-compassion
and
saying
like
I'm
doing
the
best
I
can
I
really
am
,
and
but
I
also
realized
that
I
wanna
do
it
a
different
way
you
know
.
Speaker 2
13:24
So
how
can
I
start
learning
a
new
way
,
how
can
I
start
learning
new
tools
,
how
can
I
start
learning
a
new
way
to
grow
?
And
how
can
I
give
myself
that
grace
during
this
whole
process
as
I
change
and
I
try
to
change
who
I
am
and
change
the
way
that
I
feel
about
my
life
?
Speaker 1
13:45
I
feel
like
giving
ourselves
grace
is
one
of
the
hardest
things
to
do
,
because
we
are
our
worst
critics
just
in
life
.
In
general
,
I
feel
like
we
tend
to
be
less
generous
with
the
grace
when
it
comes
to
us
because
we
have
to
live
in
our
bodies
and
we
have
high
expectations
of
ourselves
or
,
adversely
,
because
people
haven't
believed
us
for
so
long
that
maybe
,
just
maybe
,
they're
right
,
you
know
.
And
so
we
second
guess
ourselves
constantly
.
And
so
when
it
comes
to
grace
,
we
second
guess
do
we
deserve
the
grace
to
feel
the
way
we're
feeling
?
Do
we
deserve
the
grace
to
walk
a
life
that
isn't
easy
to
walk
and
say
,
you
know
,
you're
having
a
flare
and
you're
supposed
to
do
something
,
having
the
grace
to
say
I
can't
right
now
and
be
okay
with
that
and
not
feel
like
you
need
to
beat
yourself
up
for
not
being
able
to
do
something
.
Speaker 1
14:44
And
that's
really
hard
when
society
is
not
in
that
bubble
and
that
space
with
us
,
right
,
and
we
mentally
wanna
be
out
in
the
world
of
normal
,
normal
,
whatever
normal
is
right
.
We
wanna
be
in
that
world
of
normal
,
but
ultimately
we're
not
.
We
don't
feel
normal
,
we
don't
feel
right
,
we
don't
.
You
know
,
we
have
an
insurmountable
amount
of
fatigue
that
we
can't
navigate
normally
.
And
so
how
do
we
give
ourselves
that
grace
?
How
do
we
change
our
mindset
into
thinking
it
is
okay
,
it
is
okay
to
grieve
this
,
it
is
okay
to
give
ourselves
grace
?
How
do
we
switch
that
mindset
from
trauma
mindset
to
that
grace
?
Speaker 2
15:32
mindset
,
yeah
,
I
think
,
giving
our
self
self
compassion
.
The Importance of Self-Compassion and Self-Acceptance
Speaker 2
15:37
A
lot
of
people
talk
nowadays
about
self
compassion
and
self
acceptance
and
you
know
,
at
the
beginning
,
when
I
first
learned
about
this
,
I
was
well
,
I
was
very
also
,
I
was
very
like
bitter
,
but
I
would
remember
just
like
rolling
my
eyes
and
be
like
,
oh
God
,
this
is
so
stupid
,
you
know
.
And
now
I
think
it
is
just
like
so
crucial
and
so
vital
because
we
have
to
live
with
ourselves
and
I
think
the
self-critic
,
like
you
said
,
is
so
strong
and
the
self-critic
,
the
self-critic
,
is
bred
over
,
you
know
,
years
,
decades
of
every
single
day
interactions
with
the
way
society
.
I
mean
,
first
of
all
,
let's
talk
about
I
mean
there's
not
time
,
so
in
brief
passing
,
we'll
just
say
,
like
there's
ableism
,
racism
,
ageism
,
like
you
know
,
there's
so
much
discrimination
and
bias
and
expectations
that
are
completely
unrealistic
and
racist
and
ableist
about
the
people
that
we
quote
unquote
should
be
in
society
.
About
how
productive
we
should
be
,
about
how
you
know
what
we
should
look
like
to
meet
some
made
up
unachievable
beauty
standards
.
For
me
,
something
that
helped
a
lot
was
like
learning
that
a
lot
of
the
pressure
that
I've
put
on
myself
and
a
lot
of
this
inner
critic
voice
that
I've
internalized
isn't
my
own
,
you
know
,
it's
what
I've
been
taught
.
It's
the
people
who
have
said
to
me
,
like
you're
not
smart
enough
,
you're
not
beautiful
enough
,
you're
not
you
know
XYZ
enough
,
you're
not
productive
enough
,
you're
not
this
,
you're
not
that
,
you
can't
rest
,
you're
lazy
,
like
all
of
that
coming
together
and
then
,
like
you
said
,
the
years
and
years
of
dismissal
,
gaslighting
,
that
messes
with
a
person
psychologically
.
You
know
,
and
so
it's
.
I
think
it's
easy
,
it's
natural
,
to
internalize
all
of
that
and
then
bully
ourselves
and
then
be
our
worst
bully
.
Speaker 2
17:29
I
think
something
that
helped
me
a
lot
is
,
first
of
all
,
learning
that
most
people
have
a
very
angry
self-critic
inside
,
that
this
is
a
real
thing
.
You
know
the
self-critic
,
the
judge
inside
.
There's
whole
books
written
about
it
,
there's
workbooks
.
I
think
it
comes
back
to
trying
to
find
those
tools
.
Maybe
for
some
people
that
is
working
with
a
mental
health
professional
.
For
me
,
that
was
like
reading
books
about
the
self-critic
and
doing
online
worksheets
that
are
designed
to
be
done
,
you
know
,
on
your
own
,
like
exploring
your
inner
voice
,
right
,
getting
more
self-awareness
,
getting
more
mindfulness
.
For
me
,
meditation
was
really
big
.
Not
everyone
has
to
meditate
,
but
I
think
finding
that
self-awareness
,
to
start
hearing
the
way
that
you
talk
about
yourself
.
Speaker 2
18:16
You
know
,
I
noticed
for
myself
it
was
like
every
time
I
was
in
a
flare
I
just
totally
berated
myself
and
beat
myself
up
.
It
was
like
you're
in
a
flare
,
you're
lazy
,
you're
a
loser
,
this
is
your
fault
,
this
is
cause
you
ate
XYZ
,
this
is
cause
you're
weak
.
How
much
more
horrible
am
I
making
the
experience
?
I'm
already
in
a
really
difficult
.
I'm
already
in
pain
.
I've
already
canceled
my
plans
.
I
mean
it's
really
,
it
sucks
.
You
know
it's
horrible
.
And
then
I'm
saying
to
myself
this
is
your
fault
,
you're
a
loser
.
Why
can't
you
get
it
together
?
Why
are
you
still
sick
?
Speaker 2
18:47
So
for
me
,
a
lot
of
my
personal
journey
has
come
from
starting
to
be
more
self-aware
of
the
things
that
I
say
to
myself
.
My
self-critic
was
so
strong
.
I
think
I
also
have
a
lot
of
rumination
and
truest
of
thoughts
and
when
I
would
start
criticizing
myself
,
I
would
find
ways
to
stop
.
You
know
,
sometimes
I
would
just
be
like
stop
,
stop
,
like
take
a
breath
.
It
feels
stupid
at
first
,
especially
when
I
fervently
hated
myself
,
like
I
loathe
myself
.
Speaker 2
19:14
So
when
I
was
saying
to
myself
you're
so
stupid
,
you're
lazy
,
like
it's
your
fault
,
you're
sick
because
you
did
whatever
,
like
you
ate
whatever
food
,
you
didn't
take
a
walk
or
whatever
,
whatever
thing
,
I
was
saying
,
that
was
my
fault
.
It
feels
so
normal
and
natural
.
It
feels
like
those
are
the
right
words
,
cause
that's
a
story
you've
lived
with
your
whole
,
probably
your
whole
life
where
you're
like
no
,
this
is
it
is
my
fault
.
No
one
argued
with
me
,
I
would
you
know
.
I'd
bet
you
a
million
dollars
,
this
is
my
fault
.
And
so
learning
to
like
,
start
separating
ourselves
from
that
story
and
be
like
okay
,
wait
,
would
I
say
this
about
my
child
or
about
my
loved
one
?
Would
I
say
this
about
my
cat
?
You
?
Speaker 2
19:49
know
if
you
don't
you
know
right
Cause
for
me
it's
like
I
wasn't
very
close
to
my
family
,
so
I
was
like
I
don't
want
to
think
about
them
,
but
like
let
me
think
about
my
pet
.
Like
let
me
look
at
my
little
,
cute
little
baby
when
she
has
diarrhea
.
Would
I
be
like
this
is
your
fault
,
suki
,
because
you
went
and
you
like
licked
the
floor
in
the
wrong
spot
?
Like
no
,
I'd
be
like
,
oh
,
my
baby
sick
.
So
it's
like
learning
how
to
,
learning
how
to
,
how
to
love
yourself
and
how
to
treat
yourself
with
that
kindness
,
and
it
is
.
Speaker 2
20:17
It's
a
long
journey
for
some
of
us
,
you
know
,
depending
on
how
deep
those
roots
of
self-loathing
are
,
or
you
know
how
deep
our
shame
is
.
Shame
was
a
really
big
one
for
me
.
I
was
so
ashamed
every
time
I
had
a
flare
.
I
was
so
,
so
ashamed
.
Every
time
I
was
sick
,
or
every
time
I
didn't
feel
like
I
was
my
best
self
,
or
I
had
brain
fog
and
I
stumbled
over
my
words
around
people
.
I
was
so
mortified
and
so
ashamed
.
So
it's
like
finding
these
tools
first
of
all
,
finding
the
awareness
and
then
finding
the
tools
,
and
that
could
be
,
again
,
mental
health
.
Speaker 2
20:53
For
me
,
tapping
emotional
freedom
technique
was
a
really
big
one
when
I'm
feeling
a
lot
of
shame
,
you
tap
these
pressure
points
in
your
face
and
you
say
out
loud
something
like
I
love
and
accept
myself
,
even
though
I
bled
on
a
chair
at
work
and
people
saw
.
I
love
and
accept
myself
,
even
my
blood
on
a
chair
at
work
and
people
saw
.
And
it's
really
hard
to
get
those
words
out
when
you're
feeling
a
lot
of
shame
.
Like
those
words
,
they
feel
like
I
can't
say
them
because
they
don't
feel
true
.
But
the
more
you
practice
these
tools
,
the
better
you
get
.
Speaker 2
21:23
And
I
think
now
,
like
self-compassion
is
probably
the
biggest
gift
that
I've
ever
given
myself
in
my
life
.
Bigger
than
having
excision
surgery
,
which
obviously
was
a
very
big
one
to
help
me
start
feeling
a
lot
better
.
Bigger
than
my
career
taking
off
.
Bigger
than
,
dare
I
say
,
getting
my
most
wonderful
kitty
cat
,
who
I
love
,
in
the
world
.
Like
,
I
think
,
self-compassion
and
learning
to
say
I
live
with
myself
,
in
my
body
and
I
have
to
learn
how
to
accept
and
love
myself
throughout
everything
in
life
.
That's
really
hard
but
I
think
that
is
one
of
the
most
beautiful
and
most
liberating
things
that
you
can
do
for
yourself
in
your
life
.
Speaker 1
22:08
Yeah
,
I
think
it's
true
,
like
just
having
an
ounce
of
self
talk
that's
positive
makes
a
massive
difference
.
I
remember
one
time
this
is
when
I
was
probably
early
college
,
I
wanna
say
A
friend
of
mine
.
I
was
sitting
there
and
he
said
,
alana
,
you
did
so
good
with
this
,
or
I
can't
even
remember
exactly
the
compliment
that
he
fed
me
.
And
I
turned
back
around
to
him
and
I
said
,
oh
thanks
,
you're
so
great
at
this
and
you're
so
great
at
that
.
And
I
was
like
and
you
know
,
I
didn't
think
it
through
and
he
goes
,
alana
,
stop
,
he
goes
.
I
want
you
to
accept
that
.
I
just
gave
you
a
compliment
.
I'm
not
giving
you
this
compliment
for
my
benefit
or
even
for
yours
,
but
I'm
giving
it
to
you
so
that
you
understand
what
people
see
about
yourself
.
And
I
was
like
okay
,
he
goes
.
No
,
no
,
no
,
no
,
I
don't
think
you
hear
me
.
I
think
you
need
to
accept
the
compliment
that
I'm
giving
you
.
I
don't
need
one
back
.
And
I
was
like
,
okay
,
all
right
,
I
don't
know
how
to
do
this
very
well
,
I'm
really
good
at
self
loading
,
I'm
really
,
you
know
,
and
I
think
that
it
took
that
,
I
don't
.
It
took
that
one
moment
and
that
one
person
telling
me
,
I'm
not
giving
you
this
compliment
for
my
own
good
,
I
don't
need
any
rebuttal
,
just
accept
it
.
And
I
was
like
,
okay
,
I
really
dealt
with
a
lot
of
self
doubt
and
a
lot
of
insecurities
growing
up
in
regards
to
how
I
felt
most
of
the
time
,
because
I
think
that
I
was
in
a
constant
state
of
feeling
blah
,
you
know
,
and
Demetriosis
doesn't
really
,
you
know
,
make
you
feel
pretty
most
of
the
time
.
Accepting Our Imperfections and Self-Neutrality
Speaker 1
23:57
You
,
I
know
that
sounds
,
why
doesn't
it
?
I
guess
,
sounds
so
pretty
.
But
I
just
I
really
struggled
with
that
and
I
had
another
friend
of
mine
was
like
you
look
so
pretty
today
and
I
was
like
,
oh
,
thanks
,
you're
looking
great
too
.
And
they
said
,
no
,
can
you
just
accept
that
compliment
?
And
I
think
that
what
you're
doing
so
beautifully
and
you
explain
it
so
well
is
just
accepting
who
we
are
and
not
shoving
off
the
positive
stuff
.
Because
I
don't
know
about
you
,
but
I
do
feel
like
it
is
really
easy
to
consume
negative
thoughts
.
It's
really
easy
to
consume
criticisms
from
others
and
from
ourselves
.
What's
really
hard
is
to
consume
positive
,
affirming
thoughts
and
actions
and
beliefs
,
because
of
trauma
or
because
of
any
number
of
things
that
we've
walked
through
.
How
was
it
for
you
in
the
last
,
say
,
couple
years
,
learning
that
you
may
not
ever
be
100%
and
kind
of
accepting
that
we
may
not
be
100%
,
but
it's
about
the
growth
that
we
take
and
the
change
that
we
make
.
Speaker 2
25:10
Yeah
,
I
love
this
question
.
Before
I
answer
it
,
I
feel
,
if
I
just
go
say
one
little
thing
off
of
what
you
said
about
the
positive
comments
,
I
think
too
,
it
can
be
really
hard
to
go
from
self-loathing
to
then
like
self-positivity
.
So
I
think
self-neutrality
is
something
that
I've
always
aimed
for
.
So
,
for
example
,
say
you're
looking
back
,
because
I
think
it's
easy
to
look
back
and
have
a
lot
of
regrets
now
that
we
have
hindsight
.
I
look
back
at
some
of
the
choices
I
made
about
my
treatments
.
Right
,
like
I
went
on
depo
per
vero
when
I
was
young
.
That's
what
the
doctor
presented
to
me
.
She
told
me
my
only
option
was
depo
or
live
with
it
,
of
course
,
and
I
was
like
18
,
so
I
was
like
,
okay
,
well
,
yeah
,
depo
,
let's
do
it
Made
me
very
,
very
sick
and
of
course
,
everyone
has
different
experiences
on
these
drugs
.
That
was
just
my
personal
experience
.
But
later
I
was
really
angry
with
myself
because
when
I'd
asked
her
are
there
side
effects
?
She
told
me
there
was
no
side
effects
,
which
felt
very
fishy
in
the
moment
.
But
she
was
like
,
no
,
no
,
there's
no
estrogen
,
so
there's
no
side
effects
.
And
I
was
like
,
okay
,
great
,
well
then
,
yeah
,
shoot
it
in
my
butt
.
And
later
,
when
I
became
very
just
had
a
horrible
experience
,
especially
with
my
mental
health
,
with
depo
per
vero
.
Speaker 2
26:20
I
was
really
,
you
know
,
pre-amy
finding
herself
compassion
that
Amy
hated
that
18
year
old
Amy
hadn't
pushed
back
,
hadn't
gone
online
to
look
at
,
hadn't
been
made
an
informed
decision
,
hadn't
known
to
do
that
.
And
now
,
when
I
look
back
at
that
difficult
moment
in
my
life
,
all
I
feel
is
love
for
that
girl
because
I
think
about
who
Amy
was
at
that
time
.
She
was
18
years
old
or
19
.
She
was
by
herself
in
the
appointments
.
She
was
by
herself
in
between
her
college
classes
.
She
had
no
idea
what
was
going
on
with
her
health
.
She
was
scared
.
She'd
been
sick
for
three
years
.
At
that
point
no
one
knew
it
was
happening
,
no
one
.
Everyone
was
saying
that
it
was
in
her
head
and
it
was
psychosomatic
and
everything
was
normal
.
She
was
so
lost
and
she
was
so
scared
and
she
was
struggling
so
hard
.
Speaker 2
27:13
In
that
appointment
with
that
doctor
who
was
misinformed
and
you
know
it
was
back
when
I
still
had
my
trust
my
it's
just
like
,
you
know
,
100%
trust
and
faith
in
my
doctors
were
now
like
oh
yeah
,
thanks
,
I'll
think
about
it
and
research
everything
you
say
before
I
make
a
decision
,
but
that
Amy
was
so
different
back
then
and
that
Amy
just
deserves
a
huge
hug
.
You
know
it
doesn't
deserve
that
.
I
go
back
and
I
continue
to
berate
choices
I
made
.
What
20
years
ago
at
this
point
,
like
Amy
,
come
on
.
So
I
think
,
yeah
,
just
for
me
learning
to
not
look
back
with
positivity
and
be
like
,
well
,
it's
okay
,
I
mean
,
you
did
your
best
and
like
,
you
tried
,
no
like
,
but
just
look
back
and
be
like
neutral
about
it
,
right
,
like
it
wasn't
a
choice
I
would
make
now
,
but
it
was
a
choice
.
I
made
them
because
I
was
doing
my
best
and
that
girl
deserves
a
hug
for
doing
her
best
.
Speaker 1
28:11
I
wanna
hug
that
girl
too
.
Yeah
,
I
wanna
hug
her
.
She
was
so
cute
.
Speaker 2
28:18
I
wanna
hug
everyone
on
this
podcast
,
so
thank
you
for
letting
me
Meaning and Acceptance With Chronic Illness
Speaker 2
28:24
add
that
.
But
to
answer
the
question
that
you
asked
me
about
,
you
know
,
kind
of
making
peace
with
the
fact
that
maybe
I'm
never
gonna
be
symptom
free
,
and
I
think
it
was
funny
I
put
this
up
on
like
a
couple
of
months
ago
and
I
just
said
like
I
think
I
finally
accepted
the
fact
that
I'm
never
gonna
be
symptom
free
.
I've
been
sick
for
20
years
and
what
my
symptoms
have
looked
like
in
that
time
has
changed
,
you
know
.
I
think
now
they're
a
lot
less
severe
.
I
think
before
,
for
many
years
a
decade
or
more
I
was
living
at
a
eight
out
of
10
,
10
being
the
highest
symptoms
,
and
eight
out
of
10
with
spikes
to
10
,
you
know
,
during
my
period
or
during
a
bowel
movement
,
I
think
.
Now
I'm
probably
living
at
a
four
,
and
the
spikes
that
I
have
are
maybe
a
seven
on
the
worst
day
.
But
there's
not
a
lot
of
spikes
now
too
.
They're
not
very
frequent
,
maybe
like
once
a
month
.
So
I
think
I'm
doing
like
so
well
,
you
know
,
and
I
think
if
someone
who
wasn't
chronically
ill
was
like
,
oh
my
gosh
,
you
don't
feel
good
every
day
,
and
then
be
like
feel
sorry
for
me
or
like
feel
sad
,
but
I
just
feel
thrilled
,
like
I
feel
thrilled
that
I
have
a
tolerable
baseline
and
I
know
how
to
cope
.
I
know
how
to
manage
the
symptoms
I
have
.
I
have
all
these
tools
.
Now
I
,
you
know
,
I
give
myself
permission
to
rest
.
I
have
that
self
compassion
.
Speaker 2
29:54
I
actually
give
myself
a
hug
a
lot
Sometime
when
I'm
having
a
really
bad
day
.
I
sit
on
the
floor
,
on
this
rug
,
you
know
,
I
cross
my
legs
,
I
put
my
arms
around
myself
,
I
squeeze
really
hard
,
I
close
my
eyes
,
I
start
rocking
back
and
forth
and
I
say
to
myself
you're
gonna
be
okay
,
you're
gonna
be
okay
.
And
I
just
squeeze
myself
and
I
hold
myself
and
I
rock
sometimes
and
I
put
on
like
music
or
I
might
do
like
chanting
from
YouTube
or
something
,
and
I'll
do
that
maybe
for
20
,
30
minutes
and
share
Maybe
someone's
listening
and
going
well
,
that
sounds
silly
.
No
,
when
you're
in
this
,
the
depths
of
grief
and
hopelessness
and
despair
.
But
you
find
a
tool
which
for
me
,
that's
my
tool
and
for
someone
else
they
have
different
tools
and
we
all
have
different
tools
.
But
to
have
a
tool
where
we
can
use
our
tool
and
come
out
of
that
tool
,
come
out
after
using
that
tool
,
feeling
a
little
more
revitalized
,
feeling
a
little
more
hope
,
processing
our
feelings
or
our
grief
,
not
getting
stuck
.
I
think
that
tool
,
that
rocking
back
and
forth
that
helps
remind
me
that
I'm
gonna
be
okay
,
that
helps
give
myself
support
by
hugging
myself
.
The
rocking
is
soothing
,
so
it's
like
all
these
things
come
together
to
help
support
myself
.
Speaker 2
31:12
So
,
yeah
,
when
I
put
on
this
idea
that
I
don't
think
I'm
ever
gonna
be
100%
symptom
free
,
I'm
okay
with
that
.
I
think
my
goal
for
so
long
was
to
be
100%
symptom-free
at
whatever
cost
.
Now
my
goal
isn't
about
being
symptom-free
.
My
goal
still
does
include
having
a
tolerable
baseline
,
because
obviously
,
when
you're
at
an
8
,
9
,
10
every
day
,
that's
a
really
difficult
way
to
live
your
life
.
My
goal
now
is
really
about
my
quality
of
life
.
My
goal
now
is
about
what
you
said
,
you
know
having
meaning
in
my
life
,
having
purpose
,
having
moments
of
joy
,
having
a
reason
to
get
up
every
single
morning
,
having
a
life
that
I
feel
is
worth
living
.
Even
though
I
have
endometriosis
symptoms
.
That's
a
part
of
my
life
,
just
like
the
way
my
hair
is
black
and
I
have
a
kitty
and
there's
cockroaches
in
my
kitchen
right
now
.
Speaker 1
32:14
Oh
no
,
oh
dear
.
Speaker 2
32:16
But
like
that's
just
,
this
is
my
life
and
how
can
I
make
this
life
that
I
feel
is
worth
living
?
And
that's
the
goal
that
I
have
for
myself
now
.
And
whether
or
not
I
become
symptom-free
,
I
don't
care
anymore
,
that's
not
important
to
me
.
Speaker 1
32:35
There's
so
much
truth
to
just
not
only
accepting
where
you're
at
,
but
allowing
yourself
we
talked
about
grace
,
but
to
step
back
and
evaluate
even
where
you're
at
.
I
think
there's
.
You
know
,
you
don't
have
to
get
it
right
the
first
time
,
and
I
think
that
we
have
these
unrealistic
expectations
that
we
will
do
everything
right
the
first
time
,
and
we
were
talking
about
this
.
We
do
not
do
things
right
the
first
time
.
That
is
why
we're
able
to
grow
and
to
learn
,
and
I
think
you
hit
the
nail
on
the
head
when
you
talked
about
the
fact
that
you
wish
you
would
have
.
You
know
,
we
can't
live
in
the
we
wish
,
we
wish
.
We
wish
we
would
have
known
.
Instead
,
I
think
,
if
there's
so
much
value
in
saying
we
did
the
best
we
could
with
what
we
had
,
now
it's
time
to
move
forward
.
Speaker 1
33:26
Am
I
missing
out
on
things
still
?
If
you
are
,
then
maybe
that's
another
way
of
evaluating
where
am
I
missing
out
and
why
am
I
missing
out
on
these
things
?
But
it
also
accepting
that
you
aren't
always
going
to
get
it
right
and
moving
forward
in
figuring
out
how
to
improve
your
quality
of
life
Not
necessarily
that
it's
going
to
be
perfect
,
but
to
improve
your
quality
that
I
will
take
any
day
of
the
week
over
perfect
,
because
improvement
is
better
than
stagnant
,
and
I
just
think
that
there's
we
need
to
have
that
mindset
sometimes
at
least
for
me
,
I
need
that
mindset
.
I
don't
have
to
be
perfect
.
Speaker 1
34:07
If
I'm
improving
,
I'm
not
stagnant
,
and
that's
true
with
our
emotions
,
it's
true
with
how
we
process
our
trauma
,
it's
true
with
how
we
communicate
to
others
and
how
we
do
advocacy
work
and
how
you
know
it
all
ties
in
.
What
are
your
next
steps
to
improvement
?
When
it
comes
to
advocacy
and
accepting
that
,
although
this
is
a
nasty
disease
,
it's
kind
of
catapulted
you
into
the
space
of
helping
others
and
I
think
that
that's
valuable
too
.
It's
not
nice
sometimes
what
this
disease
does
to
us
,
but
we
can
be
nice
to
others
and
helping
them
.
What's
your
next
step
for
that
and
has
that
been
beneficial
in
that
healing
process
?
Speaker 2
34:50
Yeah
,
I
think
since
I
made
my
platform
,
I've
always
tried
to
be
very
transparent
with
everything
,
really
like
my
thoughts
,
my
struggles
,
my
next
steps
,
my
healing
journey
.
I
think
I've
really
just
tried
to
share
openly
and
I
think
sharing
our
stories
helps
a
lot
.
Seeing
that
other
people
identify
with
our
stories
helps
a
Finding Community and Healing Through Endometriosis
Speaker 2
35:13
lot
.
I
think
that
this
disease
is
so
isolating
and
it
is
so
easy
to
feel
desperately
alone
.
Speaker 2
35:23
And
I
know
for
such
a
long
time
I
didn't
know
I
had
ENDO
,
so
I
didn't
know
this
community
of
200
million
people
existed
.
I
didn't
know
that
there
were
people
who
understood
what
I
was
going
through
,
who
were
going
through
something
similar
.
I
had
no
idea
and
I
was
so
desperately
alone
.
So
I
think
finding
community
is
so
crucial
and
so
vital
,
I
think
,
for
all
of
us
,
especially
for
a
lot
of
us
.
Maybe
we
don't
have
that
family
support
,
we
don't
have
people
in
our
lives
who
believe
us
,
and
that
is
absolutely
emotionally
gut-wrenching
to
be
in
that
place
and
trying
to
be
there
for
people
through
my
podcast
,
through
my
book
,
providing
that
emotional
support
.
So
,
yeah
,
I
think
next
steps
is
just
continued
advocacy
,
continued
talking
about
meeting
people
,
sharing
where
we
are
.
Speaker 1
36:16
Which
is
powerful
,
because
your
book
okay
,
we're
going
to
talk
about
your
book
for
just
a
second
.
So
,
if
you
have
resonated
with
what
Amy
has
been
talking
about
,
she
wrote
her
book
just
for
you
and
probably
for
you
too
.
That
had
to
have
been
healing
for
you
to
write
this
book
,
to
really
go
back
and
retrace
some
of
these
steps
.
Tell
us
a
little
bit
about
what's
in
your
book
,
because
I
think
this
is
going
to
be
a
really
good
tool
,
talking
about
the
different
tools
that
maybe
you
didn't
have
growing
up
,
but
how
we
can
get
those
tools
and
put
them
in
our
tool
belt
or
our
toolbox
,
how
we
can
kind
of
cope
with
this
disease
.
This
has
to
be
a
valuable
tool
for
a
lot
of
people
.
Was
it
for
you
,
and
what
do
you
hope
people
get
out
of
your
book
?
Speaker 2
37:07
Yeah
,
I
think
that
for
all
these
things
it's
so
important
to
recognize
that
we're
all
individuals
,
we
all
.
Different
things
resonate
with
different
people
,
different
tools
for
different
people
.
I
am
a
firm
believer
that
I
do
think
we
can
all
find
peace
.
But
I
do
think
peace
is
ongoing
because
even
10
years
later
,
some
days
I
have
a
lot
of
peace
and
some
days
I'm
just
like
I'll
try
for
peace
tomorrow
.
Today
I'm
just
going
to
stew
in
a
bit
of
anger
.
So
I
think
these
concepts
they're
ongoing
,
they're
flexible
,
they're
changing
,
they
unfold
alongside
you
and
I
think
there's
different
building
blocks
for
acceptance
and
for
peace
and
for
some
people
that
could
be
.
It's
just
going
to
depend
what
we
need
in
our
life
.
For
some
people
it
might
mean
you
need
to
find
more
meaning
in
your
life
.
Maybe
it's
just
like
your
life
feels
really
empty
.
For
some
of
us
it
might
be
finding
more
support
,
finding
community
.
For
some
of
us
it
might
be
getting
more
self-awareness
of
our
thoughts
,
like
we
were
talking
about
working
on
our
self-critic
,
that
judge
in
our
head
.
So
I
think
there's
so
many
different
aspects
and
different
ways
that
we
can
try
to
propel
ourselves
forward
,
to
start
feeling
differently
about
our
life
,
our
body
,
our
disease
.
I
think
I've
always
tried
to
be
really
compassionate
in
my
approach
,
whether
it's
my
book
or
my
podcast
,
because
I
really
want
to
meet
people
where
they
are
,
because
sure
,
I
could
get
on
here
today
and
see
like
,
oh
,
I
feel
,
like
I'm
really
fine
,
I
found
peace
and
I'm
finding
peace
with
my
life
,
and
sometimes
it
can
be
easy
to
forget
that
I've
been
doing
this
for
20
years
now
.
So
this
is
like
,
like
I
said
,
their
practices
.
So
I
think
,
yeah
,
just
meeting
people
where
they
are
and
saying
if
you're
in
a
place
right
now
where
you're
just
,
you're
so
furious
and
you're
so
angry
,
that's
okay
,
that's
to
be
there
.
I
was
there
for
a
decade
.
If
you're
in
a
place
where
you're
like
I'm
grieving
,
I'm
grieving
and
the
idea
of
having
peace
or
hope
or
any
moments
of
joy
right
now
,
that
feels
absolutely
like
a
devastating
black
hole
that
I'll
never
get
out
of
.
I
know
those
feelings
too
,
you
know
,
and
that's
okay
to
be
there
too
.
Speaker 2
39:20
So
with
my
book
,
it's
basically
reflections
on
all
these
different
topics
that
we've
been
talking
about
.
They're
just
,
they're
short
reflections
,
which
I
think
is
very
helpful
.
When
you
have
fatigue
and
you
have
pain
,
it
can
be
really
hard
to
read
and
to
pay
attention
.
I
also
.
The
audiobook
is
coming
in
March
2024
,
so
I'm
super
excited
about
that
.
I'm
reading
and
producing
and
publishing
that
.
Speaker 2
39:42
But
yeah
,
just
like
you
know
reflections
about
,
about
our
self-talk
,
about
our
pain
,
I
want
to
make
sure
that
it
felt
very
validating
.
Speaker 2
39:51
I
put
in
reflections
of
a
couple
of
my
doctor's
appointments
or
a
couple
of
times
people
dismissed
or
gaslit
me
or
even
moments
of
extreme
pain
.
Speaker 2
40:01
You
know
I've
had
a
lot
of
people
message
me
and
be
like
I'm
only
on
chapter
three
and
I'm
already
sobbing
because
I
finally
feel
like
someone
put
into
words
what
I've
been
feeling
like
with
my
pain
but
I've
never
been
able
to
express
it
.
And
I
think
those
you
know
those
messages
are
.
They're
so
beautiful
to
get
but
they're
also
just
so
rewarding
to
realize
that
we're
not
alone
in
this
right
and
we
feel
again
.
We
feel
so
alone
because
when
we're
there
in
the
worst
,
most
backbreaking
pain
on
our
you
know
bathroom
floor
vomiting
and
you
know
pooping
at
the
same
time
,
like
it
doesn't
matter
if
we're
surrounded
by
a
billion
people
saying
like
pet
petting
our
back
and
saying
like
you're
going
to
be
okay
,
like
you're
alone
and
you're
in
your
pain
,
but
there
are
people
who
understand
your
pain
and
there
are
people
who
,
you
know
,
have
maybe
found
these
tools
,
like
we're
saying
to
,
to
try
to
live
a
little
better
with
our
pain
.
Speaker 2
40:59
And
I
think
that
the
goal
of
all
of
my
advocacy
is
just
to
try
to
help
people
live
a
little
better
,
to
find
a
tool
that
works
for
them
to
have
a
better
quality
of
life
,
whatever
that
looks
like
for
them
.
And
I
just
want
to
remind
people
that
it
really
does
take
time
and
it
really
is
just
one
little
baby
step
,
one
little
baby
step
,
one
little
baby
step
,
and
sometimes
it's
so
imperceptible
and
those
,
those
steps
will
add
up
and
one
day
you
look
back
,
like
me
,
and
you'd
be
like
,
wow
,
it's
been
10
years
.
And
like
that
Amy
who
was
so
scared
and
loathed
herself
and
already
had
two
divorces
at
30
and
had
like
no
friends
and
like
just
whined
and
trauma
dumped
and
cried
and
grieved
and
,
you
know
,
had
suicidal
ideation
,
like
that
Amy
is
not
there
anymore
.
And
this
is
totally
different
Amy
here
today
and
it's
kind
of
like
I
don't
know
how
I
got
here
,
but
I
do
know
how
I
got
here
and
so
,
yeah
,
I
just
I
really
want
to
leave
people
with
with
hope
.
Speaker 2
42:03
You
know
that
things
can
improve
.
And
even
if
things
don't
improve
,
maybe
we
can
change
,
and
we
can
.
We
can
change
the
way
that
we
feel
about
our
situation
.
There
are
things
I'm
never
going
to
get
.
There
are
things
that
I've
lost
to
this
disease
,
that
I
will
never
get
back
.
They
don't
hurt
half
as
much
anymore
because
I've
been
able
to
find
peace
with
them
.
Speaker 1
42:24
Yeah
,
oh
,
it's
so
powerful
and
so
good
.
You
are
such
a
light
to
so
many
people
,
and
I
think
that
validation
can
come
in
different
forms
and
sometimes
we
just
need
oh
,
someone
else
has
lived
through
this
to
allow
us
to
accept
where
we
are
at
or
where
we've
been
.
And
I
think
we've
talked
about
accepting
and
grieving
and
these
words
may
seem
unattainable
to
some
people
,
but
it's
not
and
the
the
community
aspect
of
having
endometriosis
and
living
with
people
that
have
endometriosis
surrounding
you
,
supporting
you
,
is
so
invaluable
.
You
can't
put
a
price
tag
on
that
,
because
healing
comes
from
those
that
you're
around
.
Sometimes
,
too
,
when
you
don't
have
the
strength
to
give
yourself
the
grace
or
you
don't
recognize
that
you
are
grieving
Sometimes
I
think
that
that
is
a
really
tricky
thing
to
recognize
is
am
I
grieving
or
am
I
just
a
negative
,
bitter
person
right
now
?
Speaker 1
43:28
No
,
you're
grieving
.
You're
grieving
what
you've
gone
through
.
You're
grieving
where
you're
going
and
you're
grieving
what
you
thought
your
life
would
be
,
and
that
is
okay
.
That
is
okay
to
do
that
.
So
thank
you
for
taking
the
time
to
really
speak
into
that
and
speak
into
people's
lives
,
and
this
is
let
this
be
your
permission
to
walk
through
that
.
Let
this
Amy
gave
you
permission
and
her
.
Her
book
is
coming
with
her
voice
,
which
is
also
super
soothing
and
calming
.
So
I
recommend
,
when
that
comes
,
to
download
that
the
audible
version
of
it
.
I
don't
know
if
it's
unaudible
,
I
just
said
that
,
but
I
just
it's
.
I
want
you
to
get
this
book
for
your
sake
,
because
she
does
this
path
so
beautifully
and
it's
not
perfect
,
and
I
think
that
that
is
okay
too
,
and
that's
what
makes
it
so
great
is
that
it's
not
perfect
and
we
aren't
perfect
.
So
,
amy
,
thank
you
so
much
for
joining
me
today
and
taking
your
time
and
just
giving
all
the
knowledge
and
wisdom
that
you
have
.
I
just
so
appreciate
you
.
Speaker 2
44:29
Well
,
thank
you
so
much
,
Alana
.
Speaker 2
44:30
I
really
appreciate
you
inviting
me
to
come
on
your
podcast
and
yeah
,
I
mean
just
final
words
is
to
everyone
give
yourself
permission
to
be
exactly
where
you
are
,
to
feel
exactly
what
you
feel
.
Speaker 2
44:43
And
maybe
you
look
around
and
you're
like
I
don't
like
where
I
am
and
I
don't
.
Maybe
I
don't
even
like
the
person
that
I
am
,
like
you
said
,
alana
,
like
bitter
and
trauma-dumping
and
crying
all
the
time
.
But
give
yourself
permission
to
say
it's
okay
that
I'm
wherever
I
am
,
it's
okay
that
I'm
here
and
slowly
I
can
learn
the
tools
and
I
can
learn
the
practices
to
change
where
I'm
at
and
to
try
to
have
a
life
that
is
more
aligned
with
what
I
want
.
And
maybe
we
cannot
get
back
everything
.
You
know
,
my
life
looks
different
than
I
thought
it
would
look
like
,
but
it's
still
a
life
worth
living
.
So
I
really
want
to
just
leave
everyone
with
that
.
I
want
everyone
to
just
I
want
to
give
everyone
a
big
hug
right
now
and
say
that
I'm
so
proud
of
all
of
you
because
it
is
so
,
so
difficult
to
live
with
this
illness
.
Speaker 2
45:35
It
is
,
you
know
,
practically
impossible
.
And
we're
doing
it
every
single
day
,
even
if
we're
not
doing
it
the
best
that
we
think
,
or
you
know
,
someone
is
doing
it
better
,
like
who
cares
how
someone
else
is
doing
it
and
like
almost
who
cares
how
we're
doing
it
,
like
we're
doing
it
and
getting
through
those
unsurvivable
traumas
and
moments
.
We
got
through
them
,
you
know
,
and
I
think
we
deserve
a
pat
on
the
back
to
ourselves
to
say
like
I'm
getting
through
my
life
and
of
course
,
I
want
to
do
more
than
get
through
my
life
.
Right
,
I
want
to
live
my
life
,
but
there
are
days
when
we're
just
going
to
get
through
.
And
I
still
have
those
days
and
I
just
pat
myself
on
the
back
and
say
,
you
know
,
it's
okay
to
just
be
where
you
are
right
now
.
Embracing Change and Advocating With Amy
Speaker 2
46:14
Things
can
change
.
Speaker 1
46:15
It's
okay
to
sit
in
a
space
for
a
second
.
We
just
can't
live
there
because
that's
not
living
right
.
So
,
amy
,
thank
you
so
much
.
If
you
want
to
continue
hearing
more
of
what
Amy
is
talking
about
,
she
has
her
podcast
again
in
16
years
of
Indo
is
the
name
of
her
podcast
,
and
she
is
not
only
an
advocate
and
speaks
so
elegantly
,
but
she's
really
coming
up
with
some
amazing
things
,
so
you'll
want
to
follow
her
.
She's
doing
really
,
really
great
work
and
,
until
next
time
,
continue
advocating
for
you
and
for
those
that
you
love
.