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Certified sex therapist Mallory Oxendine provides practical strategies for communicating with partners about pain during intimacy while maintaining connection and avoiding shame. She addresses the fear of rejection that often prevents these crucial conversations and introduces a framework that transforms vague concerns into specific requests partners can fulfill.
• Fear of rejection often prevents difficult conversations about sexual pain and limitations
• Avoidance of these discussions only deepens disconnection and misunderstanding
• John Townsend’s “People Fuel” framework offers language for requesting specific relational nutrients
• Being clear about needing acceptance, comfort, or encouragement helps partners know how to respond
• Most partners want to be supportive but need guidance on what response would be most helpful
• Clear communication preserves emotional intimacy even when physical intimacy needs adaptation
Check out episodes 120 and 121 with Mallory for more insights on intimacy, endometriosis, and chronic illness.
Website endobattery.com
Introducing Intimacy Challenges
Speaker 1
0:00
Is
intimacy
in
the
bedroom
getting
harder
to
do
,
but
you're
really
not
sure
how
to
communicate
this
to
your
significant
other
.
Mallory
Oxendine
walks
us
through
techniques
and
ways
that
we
can
communicate
to
our
significant
other
about
the
pain
that
we're
experiencing
while
also
maintaining
a
sense
of
intimacy
.
Stick
around
.
Life
moves
fast
and
so
should
the
answers
to
your
biggest
questions
.
Welcome
to
EndoBattery's
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I'm
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.
Speaker 1
1:01
Today
I'm
joined
by
my
expert
guest
,
mallory
Oxendine
,
who's
a
licensed
professional
counselor
and
a
certified
sex
therapist
,
and
is
certified
in
EMDR
therapy
.
She
focuses
her
work
on
sexuality
,
informed
and
trauma-informed
care
and
working
Fear of Rejection in Relationships
Speaker 1
1:16
with
both
individuals
and
couples
.
Mallory's
areas
of
focus
include
intimacy
issues
,
women's
health
issues
,
sexual
and
chronic
pain
and
dysfunctions
,
infertility
and
the
prenatal
years
.
She
works
diligently
in
educating
,
empowering
and
journeying
with
those
suffering
with
endometriosis
and
other
chronic
pain
issues
.
Let's
get
into
this
.
When
someone
has
an
immense
amount
of
fear
,
reservations
,
maybe
they're
even
feeling
insecure
in
their
relationship
and
things
are
starting
to
shift
and
change
within
their
body
,
they're
feeling
more
pain
,
they
are
anxious
about
being
intimate
with
their
partner
,
how
do
they
talk
to
their
partner
about
this
?
How
do
they
tell
their
partner
I
really
love
you
or
I
really
want
to
engage
with
you
intimately
,
but
I'm
in
pain
and
I
don't
know
if
I
can
do
this
?
And
how
do
we
do
that
without
the
guilt
and
the
shame
that
can
follow
that
?
Speaker 2
2:12
I
think
one
of
the
factors
that
comes
up
for
me
and
I
see
most
often
in
my
office
,
is
the
avoidance
of
talking
about
it
because
of
fear
of
response
.
Right
,
and
really
,
when
we
kind
of
dig
down
it's
often
a
fear
of
rejection
what
if
I
say
I
can't
and
they
don't
accept
me
or
they
don't
want
me
anymore
,
they
don't
pursue
me
anymore
?
Those
are
just
some
of
the
narratives
I
hear
come
out
of
the
fear
that
kind
of
stops
us
and
holds
us
from
being
emotionally
and
verbally
vulnerable
with
our
partner
.
So
one
of
the
things
that
I
work
through
is
there's
a
really
good
book
called
People
Fuel
by
John
Townsend
and
he
talks
about
relational
nutrients
and
giving
people
the
nutrients
they
need
to
thrive
as
a
human
,
and
I
just
love
the
language
he
uses
in
that
book
.
Using Relational Nutrients Framework
Speaker 2
3:06
But
I
introduced
that
he
has
a
little
handout
.
It's
easy
to
find
.
It's
a
free
download
,
it's
easy
to
find
.
But
it
talks
about
giving
acceptance
,
giving
comfort
,
giving
containment
,
giving
encouragement
,
giving
hope
.
So
sometimes
when
we
go
to
have
hard
conversations
,
a
lot
of
times
the
person
listening
doesn't
really
know
how
to
respond
because
they
don't
know
what
they're
looking
for
,
right
,
right
,
they're
like
do
you
?
Speaker 2
3:32
do
you
want
me
to
say
it's
okay
?
You
want
me
to
say
I
don't
care
?
Do
you
want
me
to
say
,
cause
?
The
fact
is
,
they
probably
do
care
,
right
,
and
it
does
impact
.
That
doesn't
mean
that
love's
not
there
,
that
doesn't
mean
they're
not
going
to
journey
with
you
,
but
,
like
,
they
do
have
an
experience
of
this
with
you
.
And
so
I
really
encourage
clients
to
read
that
,
read
the
book
,
or
at
least
review
the
of
the
different
relational
nutrients
.
And
like
what
do
you
need
?
Oh
,
I
really
just
need
acceptance
,
what
she
defines
as
connection
without
judgment
.
I
just
need
to
know
that
you
accept
me
when
I
say
that
I
don't
have
energy
to
have
sex
,
yeah
,
right
,
and
most
,
most
partners
are
going
to
go
okay
,
how
can
I
do
that
?
Yeah
,
or
like
,
this
is
hard
for
me
,
but
I
want
to
try
to
do
that
for
you
.
Right
,
they're
going
to
have
their
experience
of
it
,
but
they
want
to
engage
because
of
the
love
and
care
in
the
relationship
.
Speaker 1
4:28
If
this
resonated
with
you
and
you
want
to
hear
more
for
Mallory
,
you
can
listen
to
episodes
120
and
121
,
where
she
sheds
light
on
intimacy
,
endometriosis
and
chronic
Episode Wrap-Up and Resources
Speaker 1
4:39
illness
.
Those
episodes
are
the
episodes
you
didn't
know
you
needed
.
That's
a
wrap
for
this
Quick
Connect
.
I
hope
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clarity
and
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.
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?
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